Dear Teen,
So many of us have had tragic, traumatic or life-changing events in our lives. I have then seen so many teens be adversely effected by the event for years after it happened. They have expressed guilt, remorse, embarrassment, etc. When the fact of the matter is that when something happens to you or someone does something to you it does not have to define who you are. YOU get to define who you are. Learning to let go of a bad situation or coming to terms with something that someone did TO YOU can be very freeing. You also have the opportunity to grow tremendously. An example would be if you had been sexually or physically abused as a child and end up feeling like you just aren’t worth anything, your self-esteem has been damaged, and you find yourself making some really bad choices. You may even find yourself depressed and having a hard time managing life. Now I know that letting go, moving on, putting the past behind you is easier said than done and can take a lot of work and self-reflection, but it is worth it. Working with a therapist can also be a great help in getting a handle on your feelings. Keep in mind that YOU get to define who you are, never someone else. It can be very empowering to adopt this philosophy because it helps you get your power back. Don’t ever give up your power to be you to someone else. Once you take your power back, it can be a lot of fun finding your way through life. You can start developing who you are, what you like to do, what kinds of things you are interested in and what you want to do in the future. You will believe you deserve to have good people around you. Be hopeful and know you deserve to have a good life like anyone else. It’s your choice.