Dear Parent,
Get ready because this is all about…NOT hitting your kids. I come across this way too often in my line of work. It has become so obvious who has the real problem. Seriously, there really is nothing a child could do to deserve to be hit by a parent. They could have the worst attitude, be making poor choices, calling you names and they still do not deserve to be hit. Ever. Turn it around for a minute, think about how it would feel if someone was hitting you, slapping you, punching or pushing you. Can you really think of anything good about it? Would it make you want to do better? Would it make you trust that person? Would you want to talk to them? That’s how your child feels. It only instills a lack of trust, fear, hurt and sadness. It shuts them down. It can only make an already difficult situation even worse. There is no good that comes from hitting anyone, especially your child. So really…even if your teen is acting out and difficult to handle, if you are using physical abuse to try to control the situation, whose got the real problem? In case you can’t figure it out…it’s you. So go get some help so you can be a better parent and learn better ways to communicate with your teen and how best to handle challenging situations. It’s never too late to try. A real heartfelt effort starts with acknowledging your role in the relationship with your teen and admitting your mistakes. This can go a long way in repairing the relationship, as a start. Teens are just starting to see that their parents are real people, with faults. So admit you have been handling things all wrong and will seek help to be a better parent. Of course if the abuse is reported, as it should be, Child Protective Services may end up getting involved. If you don’t want to lose your child, in more ways than one, get help now. If you know of someone abusing a child/teen, please report it immediately. No one deserves to be hit. Ever. All of the above pertains to verbal abuse as well. There is absolutely no good that can come out of calling your child names or putting them down in any way. Sometimes you may not think what you say is verbal abuse or that it hurts, but once again turn it around and ask yourself if you would like it if someone said the same thing to you. The abuser, physical or verbal, is the one with the problem. So please stop. Get serious professional help.