Dear Parent,
These three words are the context in which I work as a school counselor. If teens aren’t safe, healthy and happy (at least happy enough) when they come to school they will not be ready to learn. As parents, you can use these three words as a guideline when dealing and communicating with your teen. You can ask yourself is your teen safe? Are they making safe choices? Do I do all I can to keep them safe? Then you ask is my teen healthy? Are they healthy physically, mentally, socially, emotionally? Are they making healthy choices in all areas of their lives? And then is my teen happy? Are they engaged in learning, want to come to school, have supportive caring friends? Do they enjoy family time and extra activities like clubs, sports and community involvement? Do they communicate with you in a positive way, without attitude? If the answers to these questions is yes then you are on the right path. And if you have to address a serious or important concern with your teen you can always tell them it’s your job to make sure they are safe, healthy and happy. It puts a realistic spin on the conversation and is a way for your teen to see where you are coming from. If you answered no, maybe, or I’m not sure to any of the questions you need to start making a true evaluation of what is going on with your teen and maybe even yourself. Just think about it. If your focus is on keeping them safe, healthy and happy the conversations are easy! Don’t be afraid to ask them if they think they are safe, healthy and happy. This is where the real conversation begins and change can happen. It’s all about supporting your teen through these sometimes rough years, and being the best parent you can be! Be patient and try to really listen without reacting emotionally or negatively. I know you want to keep the lines of communication open, so have these conversations in a calm respectful way. Your teen will appreciate it and probably be willing to say more!