Dear Teen:
I don’t get what people get from being mean to each other. I mean I get that it is usually a reflection of that person’s own insecurities or need for attention or to find a sense of control. But seriously, is it ever really worth making someone else feel bad? In any way? Do you really feel better about yourself by being mean? And in some ways girls are the worst. Girls put pressure on each other to be the prettiest, most popular, coolest, smartest, etc. I always thought girls really dress to impress each other, not the boys! But that’s because there is always this comparison thing going on. While it is human nature to compare and even pre-judge, it can be tempered with kindness. Hurtful words and actions never feel good. Putting someone down and making them feel bad, never really feels like the right thing to do. So why do it? Try being kinder. Think about how it would feel if YOU were left out, put down or treated meanly. I don’t think anyone likes that. So if you have a tendency to be mean spirited, try working on that. Try not saying or doing anything if you can’t say or do anything kind. And be respectful, to both yourself and others. If you practice kindness it actually might become a habit! And you certainly won’t be hurting others. Practice kindness by making the effort to say kind and thoughtful things to other people. See how it makes you feel! And watch the reactions you get! If that doesn’t feel good and put a smile on your face then you might have a real problem. Everyone can choose to be nice, kind, thoughtful and respectful. Some just need to practice it more than others. And it can all start with a simple smile, instead of a leer or a snarl. I hope you want to be the kind of person who makes others happy, as well as yourself. Coming from a positive place will definitely have an impact on you and your entire day. You can also build kindness by volunteering your time to help others or by making a positive impact in your community. That’s how you build confidence and a strong sense of self-esteem. You just might never want to be mean again.