Dear Parent,
If you have a teen who is causing you concern and when you ask them what’s going on or what are they doing and they say “I don’t know”, I truly believe it is because they really don’t know. A teen’s brain is still developing but also on it’s way to becoming an adult brain. With that comes new ways of thinking and feeling about things. Their ability to process information is also changing. So when the answer to your question is “I don’t know”, they probably really don’t know the answer. For instance, you recently discover that your teen has been self-harming and when you ask why you get an “I don’t know.” You need to accept that answer and not keep pushing for another one. Instead, let them know you are super concerned and will seek out professional help for them and for you. You need to learn how best to help your teen, and they need help in identifying how they are truly feeling so they can move towards being healthy. You both need professional help to find a solution, gain understanding and for support. So as hard as it is to accept an I don’t know answer, it’s actually a great place to start. Calm communication is the key. Be open, accepting and try to really listen.