Dear Teen,
In your world, you are super self-focused, as it should be. But do you ever stop and wonder if you could do better or be better? You know, like “be your best self” stuff? It really has to do with gratitude for the things you have. You can be grateful for big and little things. It’s easy to get into a poor me attitude when it looks like so many others have it so much easier than you. You might see others as prettier/better looking, smarter, stronger, more popular with peers, easier family life, more money, etc. than you. Maybe you have it pretty easy in most areas but just can’t get past the thought that things could be better. Put a focus on being grateful for what you do have. Sometimes it’s as simple as “I have a brain that works”, or “I have all my body parts and they all work just fine.” Maybe sometimes you think everyone else has it better than you. Find the things you can be grateful for in your life without comparing yourself to others. There will always be others who seem to have it better or easier than you do, but how will that help you to focus on what others have? Put the focus on you and what you can change, or what you have control of. Maybe you only have one parent but that one parent is really great and supports you in every way. Maybe your family is kind of messed up but you have great friends and you always have YOU. What can you be grateful for? Try making a list and think both big and small. Are there things you can put more focus on to improve your life? It’s OK if your list is short or there is only one thing you can think of. It’s a start. Keep the list around so you can continue to think about it and return to it if you are feeling down or add to it as you get new ideas. A gratitude list, or journal, can be very useful when getting to know yourself. It can certainly put hard times in perspective. Almost everyone has things they can be grateful for every day. Most of the time when I think about what I am grateful for in my own life just thinking about it puts a smile on my face and gives me renewed energy to move forward. That’s the whole intention. When we start comparing ourselves to others is where we get in trouble. I want you to compare yourself with you! That’s when you start to make a change and can truly be your best self.