Dear Teen,
Respect yourself. Set your personal bar high…and higher each time you practice a relationship or make a mistake. You don’t have to do anything a person wants to get them to like you. If you do and you are not ready, most likely you won’t like the result. I want all girls to set their standards high. This means to think about what is important to you in a relationship and don’t settle for less. If you want the person to be respectful, listen, be open-minded, let you still see your friends, takes no for an answer, etc. then if you settle for nothing less, you will get what you want. Let’s see…what else could be on the list of high standards; likes you for you and doesn’t try to change you, appreciates your interests and hobbies, trustworthy and honest, etc. You get the idea. Now make your own list of what is important to you. Also, if you are not ready for sexual activity, you can say no! If the other person puts you down in any way because you are not ready, then they are not the right person for you. If you set your self-standards high you will meet someone who meets those standards. As long as they are realistic! But that’s the point. Be patient and hold to your standards. Someone will come along and respect you for wanting more for yourself. You need to be your own best friend first. Put yourself at the top of the list of important things. I know it can be hard, especially for girls, to put themselves first. It does not mean you are selfish, it means you care about yourself. Other people come and go, but you will always have YOU. If you can practice doing this you may find yourself happier and calmer about the choices you make. You will also be a better friend, girlfriend, daughter, sister, etc. Take care of you first: good sleep, good food, exercise/fresh air…and personal standards. You will find that you are happier with yourself and will probably make fewer mistakes. Believe you are worthy of a great relationship with others and yourself, we all are. But it’s up to you to make it happen. Nobody will do it for you and if you do it yourself you will feel really good about YOU! Maybe you will even feel really proud of yourself!