Dear Parent,
I cannot tell you how many times I have talked with teens who say they are so stressed about the college process. Some of this stress is natural and expected since the life they have known up to this point is going to take a drastic turn. It’s all been so planned out for them…first grade, second grade….ninth grade…twelfth grade…and then what?! They have to start making some critical decisions. And they certainly do not need any added pressure from you. They know it’s hard to get into college and it’s hard to decide where they want to go. So maybe instead of saying things like ” You have to go to a UC (University of California)”, or ” You know, your cousin went to MIT,” or ” Your Dad and I both went to Ivy League schools and we think you should too.” You get the idea. Well, what if the kinds of colleges you want them to go to are not a good fit for them? Think about having conversations around what they want to do with their life and what kind of education it will take to get there. Also consider the type of student they are. Many teens would fit better at a less academically competitive environment and want somewhere that would create less pressure to excel. And there’s nothing wring with that. You want them to thrive, right? You want them to feel successful? Then help set them up for success. Please don’t ever compare them to anyone else…not a friend, not a relative, no one. They simply cannot be compared. Please don’t force them to go somewhere that is not a good fit just so you can tell your friends that they are going to the best college in the universe. Please try to be proud of all of their accomplishments and help them find that best fit. Things to consider: how far from home, cost, size, majors, community environment, housing, other programs the college may offer, does it FEEL right? If they have no idea what they might want to study, then help them find a college that offers a lot, especially in the areas they are most interested. Remember, try not to judge, never compare, support with an open mind and talk about what they want to do with their life. The best part will be helping them get there.